Sunday, December 2, 2012
My Whole Problem
Whenever I try to change my life, something happens.
I'll also add that it was really bad when I thought my life was an experiment, I was taken out of my major at a prestigious school and my grades were altered, and I was withdrawn from college. To be more specific, I went up to Washington, D.C., feeling like killed by the assistant dean at the school treating me racistly. Well, he wasn't white. They kept telling me to look up since I went to see people at 16. I was tired by the experiment and couldn't do the assignment. It was a 3 credit week long graduate course for working students. The teacher said I was doing very good, especially for my age, to my mom.
Then, I went up north during a hurricane. I could not succeed easily in any of the courses. I had problems with the 2 separate theory courses. I had been good at it, but I thought it was easy. The big problem was maybe theory, though the one teacher in private said I was really good. Anyway, the history teacher was nice, but I couldn't get myself to read and even if I was feeling good couldn't. When I went back to my other school, nothing in the religion was in the test. Also, in religion honors the year before, it was lecture and I took too many notes. That tells me I couldn't have succeeded in a lecture course I took in high school. I skimmed the chapter, and nothing was on the test, though I got a D. Of course, I was able to read some of this. I mean, I was a straight A student. I didn't get in Gifted right away but did in kindergarten, though I was called "retarded" then, my dad said. This was Northeastern Florida, a major city.
So, the 1st semester after the hurricane, there were workers outside of my dorm. I could not study! I was only in my dorm a few hours during the day. I took ballet at night and then came back..
The 2nd semester, I heard noises that made me want to kill myself. It never seemed to stop. I felt stuck in my dorm, kinda sick and dead.
We moved, and the 3rd semester was time to pick a new major. I did well in the lab courses but could not succeed with the Asian biology teacher. Chemistry was too complicated, too, you might say.. There is no Physics-Chemistry major. Chemistry is based more on Biology. There is even Physics in Biology. Biology is and was a big thing. I decided to go home, right away.
I know, in high school, I refused to get out of a certain course. I should have been forced but switched 2 other courses.
I couldn't get it to occur to me up north to Withdraw because I thought it would ruin my chances to have a W. I figured I'd get Medical Withdrawals and did. I just have a semester in Orlando where I could get Grade Forgiveness. It was just that I had to admit I wasn't good enough, after always technically getting the grades. I mean, what in the world does that mean? I thought just going along would not tell me there was a problem, and there was nothing I could do. I mean, I could have postponed the Withdrawals and lived in college, which I liked better but in ways didn't. I wasn't succeeding in any of my General Studies courses. They were more laborious than Honors. I couldn't keep up in non-Honors history. I wanted better education in high school and junior high, as well as in elementary school and preschool. I just figured it didn't make a difference. I had a nice dorm my 3rd semester. I guess the interesting thing to me was I thought it so happened I was at the top and the elevator broke.
I spent a lot of time walking around and buying food, so that was an issue. See, why am I not rich? That's been bored into my head. I could have been given more money for food, but why not? Now, I'm at home and still have a hard time. I can't get just anything I want. We are struggling to make ends meet, and the apartment had noise 24|7. I didn't even think to wear ear plugs and was lucky to have a loud fan. I didn't think to wear ear plugs that I remember much until I was 26. I felt so bad I just felt I should spend more time walking around and that college should fit. I was supposedly in an experiment and I was so mad it did not end. I think I grew tired. So, I was not encouraged to focus. So, it was hard, so I just took care of my body. Really. It wasn't my fault the school was so bad. I just hoped for the best, like my whole life thinking I'd finish my homework before midnight or 3 the next day, each day. If it ever happened, it was not many times, I think. This was since I was 12 or almost 12. I should have learned. I had such a hard time the 2nd semester of my 1st year but was glad to be out of some of the 1st year courses. It just feels my life was stolen from me, like I was bribed and made fun of for being bribed to. I feel people are hurting me for walking around campus for fun. I actually did it longer than I thought I could. I just needed it. I could not focus in my alotted study time nor in class.
I'll also add that it was really bad when I thought my life was an experiment, I was taken out of my major at a prestigious school and my grades were altered, and I was withdrawn from college. To be more specific, I went up to Washington, D.C., feeling like killed by the assistant dean at the school treating me racistly. Well, he wasn't white. They kept telling me to look up since I went to see people at 16. I was tired by the experiment and couldn't do the assignment. It was a 3 credit week long graduate course for working students. The teacher said I was doing very good, especially for my age, to my mom.
Then, I went up north during a hurricane. I could not succeed easily in any of the courses. I had problems with the 2 separate theory courses. I had been good at it, but I thought it was easy. The big problem was maybe theory, though the one teacher in private said I was really good. Anyway, the history teacher was nice, but I couldn't get myself to read and even if I was feeling good couldn't. When I went back to my other school, nothing in the religion was in the test. Also, in religion honors the year before, it was lecture and I took too many notes. That tells me I couldn't have succeeded in a lecture course I took in high school. I skimmed the chapter, and nothing was on the test, though I got a D. Of course, I was able to read some of this. I mean, I was a straight A student. I didn't get in Gifted right away but did in kindergarten, though I was called "retarded" then, my dad said. This was Northeastern Florida, a major city.
So, the 1st semester after the hurricane, there were workers outside of my dorm. I could not study! I was only in my dorm a few hours during the day. I took ballet at night and then came back..
The 2nd semester, I heard noises that made me want to kill myself. It never seemed to stop. I felt stuck in my dorm, kinda sick and dead.
We moved, and the 3rd semester was time to pick a new major. I did well in the lab courses but could not succeed with the Asian biology teacher. Chemistry was too complicated, too, you might say.. There is no Physics-Chemistry major. Chemistry is based more on Biology. There is even Physics in Biology. Biology is and was a big thing. I decided to go home, right away.
I know, in high school, I refused to get out of a certain course. I should have been forced but switched 2 other courses.
I couldn't get it to occur to me up north to Withdraw because I thought it would ruin my chances to have a W. I figured I'd get Medical Withdrawals and did. I just have a semester in Orlando where I could get Grade Forgiveness. It was just that I had to admit I wasn't good enough, after always technically getting the grades. I mean, what in the world does that mean? I thought just going along would not tell me there was a problem, and there was nothing I could do. I mean, I could have postponed the Withdrawals and lived in college, which I liked better but in ways didn't. I wasn't succeeding in any of my General Studies courses. They were more laborious than Honors. I couldn't keep up in non-Honors history. I wanted better education in high school and junior high, as well as in elementary school and preschool. I just figured it didn't make a difference. I had a nice dorm my 3rd semester. I guess the interesting thing to me was I thought it so happened I was at the top and the elevator broke.
I spent a lot of time walking around and buying food, so that was an issue. See, why am I not rich? That's been bored into my head. I could have been given more money for food, but why not? Now, I'm at home and still have a hard time. I can't get just anything I want. We are struggling to make ends meet, and the apartment had noise 24|7. I didn't even think to wear ear plugs and was lucky to have a loud fan. I didn't think to wear ear plugs that I remember much until I was 26. I felt so bad I just felt I should spend more time walking around and that college should fit. I was supposedly in an experiment and I was so mad it did not end. I think I grew tired. So, I was not encouraged to focus. So, it was hard, so I just took care of my body. Really. It wasn't my fault the school was so bad. I just hoped for the best, like my whole life thinking I'd finish my homework before midnight or 3 the next day, each day. If it ever happened, it was not many times, I think. This was since I was 12 or almost 12. I should have learned. I had such a hard time the 2nd semester of my 1st year but was glad to be out of some of the 1st year courses. It just feels my life was stolen from me, like I was bribed and made fun of for being bribed to. I feel people are hurting me for walking around campus for fun. I actually did it longer than I thought I could. I just needed it. I could not focus in my alotted study time nor in class.
Africans and Asians
Is it okay that Africans connect with you more than Asians? They claim they are inherently Asian...
Slight Aversion
You know how once in awhile it's okay to have something slightly adverse occur to you.
Poked At
Look, people won't stop kidding with me to be impressive. They keep overreacting to every little thing I do online and anything that passes my mind, somehow.
Something else basic you might want to know is people made me so mad with racism that I got so mad I didn't know what to do. I broke my laptop.
I'm mad. My dad keeps kidding with his messages. He was very threatening around me since the n word thing. I'm tired of Ellen DeGeneres also overreacting to little things but wouldn't care otherwise. Maybe, she's just like a disease or whatever you call those dangerous organisms. Virus. He's following the logic he thinks others really have and saying that if something bad happens it happens to others. When I ate at a restaurant, he made my stomach turn on in a bad way at a waitress. Later, after watching Ellen DeGeneres, it turned on and pumped a lot and I had an intense dream. Then, I felt like my stomach was filled with that. He was eyeing me like he "knew" how I felt, really in an evil way. Can you believe it? LISTEN TO ME! It's still like that. Also, I'm getting an influx of messages. Supposedly, my life is messed up, but I don't believe that. Since Tim Burton, I don't believe it. He thinks that at any moment someone will do something really suggestive to you and that if you're constantly in check this will have warded them off.
I don't care about Ellen DeGeneres following logic of others claiming she is great in the way she is. Oh no, I feel bad and just forgot what I was thinking. Well, why am I put up to watch her show, which I like, and then have to put up with experiencing her, as though "I 'don't deserve 'it.''" That's not "what" makes her "prestigious" and well-respected. The world is ruined since Johnny Depp. Especially Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
I'm being treated like I need help in ways I don't. I'm being fun of for being poor.
Something else basic you might want to know is people made me so mad with racism that I got so mad I didn't know what to do. I broke my laptop.
I'm mad. My dad keeps kidding with his messages. He was very threatening around me since the n word thing. I'm tired of Ellen DeGeneres also overreacting to little things but wouldn't care otherwise. Maybe, she's just like a disease or whatever you call those dangerous organisms. Virus. He's following the logic he thinks others really have and saying that if something bad happens it happens to others. When I ate at a restaurant, he made my stomach turn on in a bad way at a waitress. Later, after watching Ellen DeGeneres, it turned on and pumped a lot and I had an intense dream. Then, I felt like my stomach was filled with that. He was eyeing me like he "knew" how I felt, really in an evil way. Can you believe it? LISTEN TO ME! It's still like that. Also, I'm getting an influx of messages. Supposedly, my life is messed up, but I don't believe that. Since Tim Burton, I don't believe it. He thinks that at any moment someone will do something really suggestive to you and that if you're constantly in check this will have warded them off.
I don't care about Ellen DeGeneres following logic of others claiming she is great in the way she is. Oh no, I feel bad and just forgot what I was thinking. Well, why am I put up to watch her show, which I like, and then have to put up with experiencing her, as though "I 'don't deserve 'it.''" That's not "what" makes her "prestigious" and well-respected. The world is ruined since Johnny Depp. Especially Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
I'm being treated like I need help in ways I don't. I'm being fun of for being poor.
Dream
I dreamed I was in gymnastics class and I was hovering over a bar. Ellen DeGeneres was the teacher. Well, I was sorta sitting on it. It just gave me a nice fuzzy feeling like I wanted more.
Monitoring Your Attitude
So, I had an idea recently that you can't just be strict on others and not yourself.
So, I'm getting constant messages at the moment in retrospect to Ellen DeGeneres. She seems to sorta go by herself as a kid. I find it hard to connect because I found like only 2 cute pictures of me and 1 of them I can't find. I mean, I was never very ugly but never very cute. My features were more rounded. You could tell I wanted to look like blonde kids, with hair a little lighter than hers.
So, she acts so positive, but I don't think she really is, if these messages I'm getting are things she believes.
Well, it all started, I was sleeping and I got the message, like my mom closed the laundry door ... and it made me think my dad wanted to go to the gym after work. I feel I'm just being tested for "wanting" others to do things. I don't find my dad particularly sexy in many ways, though I can disclaim what you think this means. I feel instilled in me was hatred, like maybe I "just don't care about my dad really." I feel my life is being matched with his, and it's making me very mad. I'm the one who's being good and different, too. I put a message on Twitter for fun that if these people talked to my dad, they couldn't talk to me. I don't even remember which Twitter. I could definitely dig that up. I mean, Twitter is not necessarily something where I will change accounts in a timely manner. The other problem is he used to come home always at 6 or 6:30. I was really hungry.
I realized something else about Ellen DeGeneres. With the messages I'm getting, I realized she hurts you and acts like she didn't do it.
So, about my dad, I grew up kinda tired and malnutritioned but fed as a baby. It wasn't fun. I liked having a little Chic-Fil-A and Pina Colada. Why does everyone know about that? It feels like the whole world has known that for a long, long time. It was night, and we came home on a bus. However, I felt like I was just an ugly person with dull skin and hair. I wasn't much of a doer for some reason. I am so mad with how my mom equates me with my dad. I posted something online about her because I was feeling it, and it stopped the feeling. She's taking out anger on me, like people like my dad. Why did she do the laundry so late? I know I had mine there. I WILL NOT BE ASSOCIATED WITH MY DAD. He's been acting so gay since the n word thing. He's never got on with me when I tried, and people are "blaming" me, when you don't have to have such a relation with your dad. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY MOM? She's always been protective of me to my dad. She was being mean to me because of the n word thing. I could just **** apart anyone who does this even a little bit. I felt stimulated in my crotch in a way I do not like. I don't know why people get stimulated in certain areas. I just feel that's what everyone's doing. I know that certain areas are more stimulated.
So, I'm getting constant messages at the moment in retrospect to Ellen DeGeneres. She seems to sorta go by herself as a kid. I find it hard to connect because I found like only 2 cute pictures of me and 1 of them I can't find. I mean, I was never very ugly but never very cute. My features were more rounded. You could tell I wanted to look like blonde kids, with hair a little lighter than hers.
So, she acts so positive, but I don't think she really is, if these messages I'm getting are things she believes.
Well, it all started, I was sleeping and I got the message, like my mom closed the laundry door ... and it made me think my dad wanted to go to the gym after work. I feel I'm just being tested for "wanting" others to do things. I don't find my dad particularly sexy in many ways, though I can disclaim what you think this means. I feel instilled in me was hatred, like maybe I "just don't care about my dad really." I feel my life is being matched with his, and it's making me very mad. I'm the one who's being good and different, too. I put a message on Twitter for fun that if these people talked to my dad, they couldn't talk to me. I don't even remember which Twitter. I could definitely dig that up. I mean, Twitter is not necessarily something where I will change accounts in a timely manner. The other problem is he used to come home always at 6 or 6:30. I was really hungry.
I realized something else about Ellen DeGeneres. With the messages I'm getting, I realized she hurts you and acts like she didn't do it.
So, about my dad, I grew up kinda tired and malnutritioned but fed as a baby. It wasn't fun. I liked having a little Chic-Fil-A and Pina Colada. Why does everyone know about that? It feels like the whole world has known that for a long, long time. It was night, and we came home on a bus. However, I felt like I was just an ugly person with dull skin and hair. I wasn't much of a doer for some reason. I am so mad with how my mom equates me with my dad. I posted something online about her because I was feeling it, and it stopped the feeling. She's taking out anger on me, like people like my dad. Why did she do the laundry so late? I know I had mine there. I WILL NOT BE ASSOCIATED WITH MY DAD. He's been acting so gay since the n word thing. He's never got on with me when I tried, and people are "blaming" me, when you don't have to have such a relation with your dad. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY MOM? She's always been protective of me to my dad. She was being mean to me because of the n word thing. I could just **** apart anyone who does this even a little bit. I felt stimulated in my crotch in a way I do not like. I don't know why people get stimulated in certain areas. I just feel that's what everyone's doing. I know that certain areas are more stimulated.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Dream
I just dreamed I was rewriting my dream.
The bad part was my dad came in and I slammed my colored pencil into the sofa chair. he came back again and I did the same thing. He was sitting on it next to me and my finger pressed against his finger tip, and I felt a little ball of energy like smash.
So, I was writing about my experience.
So, I remember I was next to my cousin. I said she was so cute but indicated I didn't want to be like her. My grandma was hovering over us. I think I was sleeping on a couch bed in sheets. It was rather miserable. There was something about her mom in it.
I guess I had another dream before this. I was on a trip. I was getting food. I tasted some of a wrap and put it back. It looked like I hadn't. I came back and there was nothing I could by. There was a small bowl of small shrimp and marinara for $12.99. I was to go on a plane. My aunt's husband was there. I think I was at the store, and his daughter came in, who's older than me, and I said hi. The person working at the store was Ellen DeGeneres. She like smiled. I found a little stuffed elephant keychain that was about 2 inches tall. There were 2 other sizes and some orange ones, that were kinda flat. The biggest size was maybe 5 inches. The other was maybe 2-3 inches. I think I got it. I was at a big store going down the aisles, and it seemed like a big, clean store back in the early 90s maybe. I asked if it was the same candy in each aisle. I said there were no big M&Ms in 1 aisle. I got them. I reached into my pocket for the cash, maybe a $10, $5, some $1 bills and coins. I think it was like $12 or $15. It was like a package bag. The M&Ms were big and round but probably not peanut-filled. I have a feeling I was carried for some reason after. We were on the sidewalk wondering about the pain ride. I said you should have told me. I thought getting food would only be 2 minutes, not 5.
The dream I described 1st was pretty long. I had written a lot. There was the idea someone gave me you write about your life and show people in a binder. So, I was gonna put these papers online. I had a section of little paragraphs like poems. It was about what I had dreamed. The pencil. I think they saw. I think they saw me get mad later. I felt insulted, but then the message made sense. I just had bad chemistry psychiatrically. It's too bad, I thought I was settling down from being mad last night.
I wanted help for "what I actually did." My dad came home, and we were in a more public-looking place. My mom was gaping at my thought.
The bad part was my dad came in and I slammed my colored pencil into the sofa chair. he came back again and I did the same thing. He was sitting on it next to me and my finger pressed against his finger tip, and I felt a little ball of energy like smash.
So, I was writing about my experience.
So, I remember I was next to my cousin. I said she was so cute but indicated I didn't want to be like her. My grandma was hovering over us. I think I was sleeping on a couch bed in sheets. It was rather miserable. There was something about her mom in it.
I guess I had another dream before this. I was on a trip. I was getting food. I tasted some of a wrap and put it back. It looked like I hadn't. I came back and there was nothing I could by. There was a small bowl of small shrimp and marinara for $12.99. I was to go on a plane. My aunt's husband was there. I think I was at the store, and his daughter came in, who's older than me, and I said hi. The person working at the store was Ellen DeGeneres. She like smiled. I found a little stuffed elephant keychain that was about 2 inches tall. There were 2 other sizes and some orange ones, that were kinda flat. The biggest size was maybe 5 inches. The other was maybe 2-3 inches. I think I got it. I was at a big store going down the aisles, and it seemed like a big, clean store back in the early 90s maybe. I asked if it was the same candy in each aisle. I said there were no big M&Ms in 1 aisle. I got them. I reached into my pocket for the cash, maybe a $10, $5, some $1 bills and coins. I think it was like $12 or $15. It was like a package bag. The M&Ms were big and round but probably not peanut-filled. I have a feeling I was carried for some reason after. We were on the sidewalk wondering about the pain ride. I said you should have told me. I thought getting food would only be 2 minutes, not 5.
The dream I described 1st was pretty long. I had written a lot. There was the idea someone gave me you write about your life and show people in a binder. So, I was gonna put these papers online. I had a section of little paragraphs like poems. It was about what I had dreamed. The pencil. I think they saw. I think they saw me get mad later. I felt insulted, but then the message made sense. I just had bad chemistry psychiatrically. It's too bad, I thought I was settling down from being mad last night.
I wanted help for "what I actually did." My dad came home, and we were in a more public-looking place. My mom was gaping at my thought.
Setbacks and Stubbornness
When I came home from my 1st year of college, I thought my life was being monitored, like on tape.. I was trying to get really healthy.. I got wind that in a way that's deceitful, to waste my life rather than focusing on studying or being let out to work or making my way in another way... I still experienced setbacks and stubbornness. I guess I was hungry for junk food.
Problems
Actually, I was well off when I was about 10. I developed when I was 11. We moved, and things were never really good. I got in high school, and things were okay. After that, I became more and more artistic as a person. However, I had problems dieting and regaining weight. I went to college, and I think I really damaged myself though was eating so much "good" food and exercising daily, well 5 days a week.. I later succeeded in maybe an hour a day. However, now, I don't feel I can. I just feel like I'm missing an organ or something.
Ex-er-cise
It seems like I just had to exercise. Well in advance, my dad informed us that a health center would be built upon our arrival. It wasn't.
Knew You Wouldn't Like It
It seems funny that you'd privately find it so amusing that I complained all the time as a tween. At first, I was just being funny. I never thought anyone would appreciate how I was and that if they knew they'd be really mad.
I'm not sure. I just liked to socialize and was really mad that people reacted like I was tacky.
I'm not sure. I just liked to socialize and was really mad that people reacted like I was tacky.
What Changed
I'm not sure what got into me. Well, now I think it's because this attractive girl a little younger with all white hair moved from L.A. my last year before moving away from Florida.
About My Discomforts as a Teen
I guess it's become "interesting" what it was like moving to the New Orleans area. I think I was already pretty mad. Suddenly, my mom stopped having us walk around as much and I gained weight and it was painful. I was already being taunted as a complainer. I pretty much said I knew I wouldn't like it, unless maybe we moved to the city and it turned out we didn't, like it was funny because it wasn't. So, I kept saying that because they didn't seem to understand and was pretty mad, too, though, though I don't remember exactly the nature of what I said nor what I would have to say. I don't think it's a big deal because I was just complaining based on how I felt. It was supposedly unpleasant. Anyway, we got there and I just felt really uncomfortable until I went to a public school. I went to a public school in 1st & 2nd, I mean kindergarten and 1st grade. That was the one time we lived in the city, like in a major city where the school was.
I always thought people should eventually feel sorry for me because I couldn't fix my life. I was fat, for the 1st time, had quit gymnastics and could not find a ballet school. I didn't have anywhere to "play." I did cross country in high school. In public schools in the area, I know they have track. So, it was really embarrassing. I wasn't really fat, but my face lost its profile. I was already getting fatter where I lived before and I thought it was because we stopped walking. I did tennis once a week, not sure we practiced a lot. I got fat the beginning of my 1st year of 5th grade, but it was so busy I got skinnier.
I always thought people should eventually feel sorry for me because I couldn't fix my life. I was fat, for the 1st time, had quit gymnastics and could not find a ballet school. I didn't have anywhere to "play." I did cross country in high school. In public schools in the area, I know they have track. So, it was really embarrassing. I wasn't really fat, but my face lost its profile. I was already getting fatter where I lived before and I thought it was because we stopped walking. I did tennis once a week, not sure we practiced a lot. I got fat the beginning of my 1st year of 5th grade, but it was so busy I got skinnier.
Slept Through
This is the 1st time I slept through the night. I hit my forehead on the bath faucet about a week ago. I was out for like 4 hours yesterday, but I have been before, though I'd been up since midnight. I'm still tired and going back to bed or maybe just sorta coasting online.
Dream
I was at this place where we did stuff. In the end, I was like in a room like my garage and I was filling out a paper that said what I did, gymnastics. I filled out the last thing that said I did intermediate. I missed like 10 spaces above, though. I was envisioning this faded room with a rough floor. I was ready to get to work, for some reason.
A Bit Uncomfortable
A Bit Irritated, like in my crotch but not much - kinda winded but not blown away, just worried about what like my dad will react to my postings, hopefully a civil fashion
Disturbed?
Yes, I couldn't believe what it was like moving to Orlando, what I felt when I was in my room. I couldn't even control myself, at all, really. I'm from Southeastern, Northeastern, Southeastern, and Northeastern Florida, too.
Interesting!
I got "the" message that maybe I tag people. Well, just so you know, that's what tweens and teens are supposed to do.
Maybe, I'm not always like appropriate. Arrange your life.
Maybe, I'm not always like appropriate. Arrange your life.
Disturbed About an Old Friend
Now, I'm disturbed people are mad at me for talking to her thinking she was kidding not wanting to talk to me. You know, I met someone her mom's age who kid around with me and made it my fault, without like directly doing so.
I don't know, but I think something happened and then her cousin came over and she said blood was thicker than water. It ruined my school year. I talked to my mom about it, and she cooed me.
I don't know, but I think something happened and then her cousin came over and she said blood was thicker than water. It ruined my school year. I talked to my mom about it, and she cooed me.
In the Situation
Let's see, how can I fix my situation? Whose fault is it really? I mean, it seems like someone doesn't care.
Stimulating Myself
I was encouraged to stimulate myself up north and when I came back to Orlando. My mom kept waking me up.
Unacceptable
I will never accept this. I mostly blame people for stimulating me in weird ways and figuring this is payback. I want to know!
Not a Bribe 8I
I feel as though me losing my female thing is a bribe as a fan of Ellen DeGeneres. However, it was not good for me, and I don't think I should have it removed.
Being Selfless
So, Ellen DeGeneres inherently believes it is selfless to not like your kids. I totally disagree with that side of thinking to exist at all. It doesn't exist for me. I got indicated that it was forced upon others, but I believe it is also a decision and that no one in their right mind would ever make the wrong decision unless they are imperfect.
Hearing and Seeing Things
After I take Risperdal, I hear things. Except, this time it sounds real and it's not nice. I'm also seeing things.
In a "Bad" Way 8|
You know, the medicine took away my female thing in a bad way. I will never contend to it because it is 2-sided. I think it is even a touchy topic as to if it is even okay. =I My doctor told me it'd come back.
A Very Bad Thing
So, it really is a very bad thing. Even if there is someone cool like Ellen DeGeneres without kids, though maybe she can still have kids. I guess she should plan to have a daughter ASAP, except she needs a good man. Don't ask me for anyone because I don't know anyone who's like touchy feely like her.
People Being Born
I guess I sit here and really wonder why I was born. I am interested in the idea of keeping making people because I don't believe we die.
My Female Thing
Isn't it horrible I lost my female thing? Well, I had it a little, earlier today. =} I mean, think about it. It didn't just like come more. Oops! I forgot that's what other meds do. I don't know why I stood it. I really don't. It's my aunt's fault! '8{
I'm uncomfortable following Ellen DeGeneres. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp had their kids, late. I feel as though that's the reason I don't have my female thing. There really are 2 major points. My body changed taking the meds, though I had some problems and it probably fixed some, though I didn't need it, which is like illegal.. The other problem is I think everyone cares that their female thing is good, in case they have a baby, most people wanting one someday. I guess I'm uncomfortable because of Ellen, but I'm kinda mad at the whole situation, to be honest. I'm mostly mad about the important part, not about how I feel. I mean, I know it's sorta an idea I am not having kids now, but will I someday? I guess it saves it for later. It's just altogether detrimental to have your decaying female thing.
I'm uncomfortable following Ellen DeGeneres. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp had their kids, late. I feel as though that's the reason I don't have my female thing. There really are 2 major points. My body changed taking the meds, though I had some problems and it probably fixed some, though I didn't need it, which is like illegal.. The other problem is I think everyone cares that their female thing is good, in case they have a baby, most people wanting one someday. I guess I'm uncomfortable because of Ellen, but I'm kinda mad at the whole situation, to be honest. I'm mostly mad about the important part, not about how I feel. I mean, I know it's sorta an idea I am not having kids now, but will I someday? I guess it saves it for later. It's just altogether detrimental to have your decaying female thing.
Oh no! ^0^
Now, I'm getting cramps. You know, I get painful attacks a little. :| It surprises me. I mean, I've had the really unbearable pain. It's just a rupturing threat!
Not Feeling on the Bright Side
My bathroom is somehow flooded about an inch or 2. So, I had to wear my old high heels that don't fit with socks and my feet hurt.
Slight Problem
The other problem was I needed it. I took too many courses. The full load, 19 and then I think 21. However, some of those classes were merely Ballet, Ensemble.
Also, I was told I should get out of American History APG in 11th grade, but I was stunned. They didn't force me, but I ended up changing other classes. The teacher was attractive.
Also, I was told I should get out of American History APG in 11th grade, but I was stunned. They didn't force me, but I ended up changing other classes. The teacher was attractive.
Lost Focus 7 Years Ago
I was unable to focus since being kicked out of Music Education and Voice and forced to be an Organ major.
What the World is Made Of
Why would my dad get mad at me for getting in situations I didn't know about. His belief is that's what the world is made of.
Thinking for Yourself
Can you imagine my dad getting mad at my mom for not reminding me to write my cousin? I wonder which parent wanted me to figure things out for myself.
Feeling Downtrodden
I get that feeling of being kinda like "fake" and "unflowing." 8| Like, I feel kinda compact but not well-connected.
Punished for a Supposed Attitude or Feeling
I feel like I've been punished for my attitude not doing well in school, not knowing I had to take easier courses, coming across concrete barriers.
Feeling Pressure
I get like the feeling of my sacks being empty and dry and I feel like I have to control it so it doesn't explode.
Racism Online
So, Johnny Depp did benefit me going online, but did you ever stop and think no one would ever have been racist to me ever, otherwise?
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